The Older Brother Syndrome (OBS)

Sorry folks, I wasn’t able to capture any nice fashion photos this week. So I thought I’d share with you something I received from Pastor Benjamin’s message at the last Arrow.

Pastor Benjamin talked about Luke 15:25-31 (OBS) towards the end of his sermon. Being the older sibling, I could really relate to the older brother. His bitterness towards his family, his comparing… Man! Whenever I read this part, I can perfectly imagine the entire scene (Like Pastor Prince says, read the bible with imagination - it’s a whole lot of fun!).

There are some things that come with being the older sibling. I had the responsibility of accounting for two lives when I wasn’t very old myself. My dad used to say “take care of your younger brother, bring him back in one piece” when he dropped us off at teenzeal (now DARE), camps and birthday parties. How many of us hate hearing “aiya, let him have it lah, he’s your younger brother”? Or after a fight and you’ve won (obviously), you get punished when he started it? For me, it’s pretty much over now that my brother, Bryan, is old enough to account for himself. But I had held some OSB (older sibling bitterness) in my heart and only realized it the more our Pastors talked about the older brother.

Every time a message came to the part about the older brother, I always had this self-righteous indignation. While I understood that it was by his self-effort that he slaved away, I couldn’t understand why his father never gave him a young goat.

That was until two nights ago when I had some family frustrations. Angry thoughts rushed through my mind “… they ALWAYS give him whatever he wants. What about me? I NEVER get anything I want…” After ranting to Daddy God (the EVER faithful friend) for a good 10 minutes, I chuckled at the exaggeration of my OSB thoughts. It was totally untrue that my parents NEVER gave me anything I wanted, in fact, my parents usually gave me EVERYTHING I wanted. I am sure the older brother’s statement, “Yet you NEVER gave me EVEN a young goat…” like mine, was an exaggeration. He had just forgotten the Father’s goodness in times past.

Then I asked God, why did the younger brother get the fatted calf then? That’s pretty unfair. And why should we celebrate his return? (Feel the OSB?) I like what Pastor Benjamin pointed out. The Father told his son, “EVERYTHING that I have is yours“.

God isn’t like our natural parents. Even the best are limited. Their “everything” has to be split between the number of your family members. Our God is unlimited. He has everything. And on top of everything, everything else belongs to Him. He can give us everything, and still have everything to spare for the next brother or sister. I felt so loved and precious when I realized I would never hear God say “I only have one fatten calf to share between the two of you, give him lah, he’s your younger brother”. No, our Daddy God has a whole lot of top grade beef for our eating pleasure! We can rejoice when Daddy God lavishes His “everything” onto our brothers and sisters, knowing that He does not and will not take from the “everything” He’s giving us to do so! Thank God!

Just as I thought I knew it all about this story and it’s relevance to me as an older sibling, God popped another thought. Pastor Benjamin said this “the older son was out in the field working. God wants us in the house with Him”. Our Father treasures our presence so much so He serves the best food and gives us the best clothes to celebrate. In His presence, there is safety, soundness and provision. I’m amazed at the irony. God lavishes the best gifts on us when we run to Him, which is the very thing that is actually best for us!

Daddy God indeed loves us so much.

Hope you’re blessed!
Charis